random: no describable deterministic pattern
Random Thought #1: Depression sucks
This post is a gathering of random thoughts, a la Ts-Quest (who writes her blog posts in this format). Who also, speaking of which, I am sending positive thoughts out into the universe for. I have had two bouts with depression in my life, where I didn’t feel like there was any end to the tunnel… and I wish I had something more helpful to send her than just my positive wishes.
Random Thought #2: Something always has to give
I’m pondering lately (i.e. today) if you can really expect to be fabulous at your job and be a single parent. I can’t work late nights like I used to. I can’t work weekends. Even if other people are burning the midnight oil… I am off at 4:30, hell or high water, picking up the kids so that I can make dinner, do homework and baths and bedtime.
I had a competitor say to one of my clients, “are you sure you want to go with Syd? You do know she’s a single mom and likely won’t be able to give you the attention you’ll need.” And 99% of the days I think he is a jackass. But days like today when I am so tired I could almost cry? I wonder just a teeny tiny bit if he might be right. I mean, I’m confident in the work that I do. But I only do it until 4:30PM. You know?
Random Thought #3: Probably you should try Bacon Salt
Hey listen. If you have never heard of it before, you should seriously try bacon salt. It’s a seasoning salt and it makes everything taste like bacon. For reals. I had been talking about my chickens, you know, and how I am going to have eggs coming out of my ears soon (figuratively speaking, of course). And my client pulled a shaker of bacon salt out of her purse and recommended that I put it on hard boiled eggs. She let me borrow it for two weeks and now I am hooked. It is delicious. It’s so good you carry it around in your purse.
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Jun 26th 2009
#1: I agree, depression sucks big time. Especially when it causes insomnia and your friends leave comments on your blog at 3:00 a.m. :-/
#2: You are awesome. Any employer is lucky to have you, even until 4:30.
#3: I have heard of this. Do they have other flavors, like chocolate or tequila?
Jun 26th 2009
#1: Yes. Yes it does.
#2: From what I’ve seen, I think you are fabulous at your job. You know what? Scratch that. I’ve seen enough to say it this way: You _are_ fabulous at your job. Every time I’ve run into one of your clients, they were happy to be your client. Prospective clients have just naturally seen you as the “best” option; even if they opted for somebody cheaper or with more time flex, they felt like they were settling. Your competence at what you do is Just That Obvious.
As a single parent, you’re not likely to put in any heroic 15-hour sessions, and maybe you’ll never be a rock-star developer, but you know what? Those things are overrated anyway. Long hours are usually a path to burnout, and rock-star developers are usually assholes. And single parent or no, burning the midnight oil at your job comes at a cost. It’s just a question of what you give up.
#3: I am dubious, but I will try anything at least once.
Jun 26th 2009
Hey Syd, can I kick the jackasses ass for you? You know I will. You work two jobs and I think you do both of them pretty gracefully.
Jun 27th 2009
Jo: I have so much fun hanging out with all the kids, but then don’t have a chance to really *talk* with you about how things are going. I’m sorry about the insomnia. I’ve got to try and give you a call sometime after all the kids are down and I can really hear how you are. And *totally* cracked me up about the other flavors. I’ll look into it.
Dan: Thank you, that’s really true, I know. I usually remember that I make a decision to have a healthier balance of home life to work life and I’m glad for it. Some days just suck more than other ones, huh.
Rowan: That would be really great, thanks.
Jun 28th 2009
Sending oodles of positive vibes out to you.